Losing Oneself


There are several myths around relationships… here are the common ones:

You and your partner should see eye to eye

Since each individual is totally unique, with separate histories and life experiences, it’s normal for you both to have different points of view. Also, you want to be with someone who adds some extra spice, and has a different outlook, or slant, on life. You don’t just want a partner who’s a clone of you. Thus, value and appreciate your differences.

Romance is at the heart of a great relationship

Of course, romance is important and makes things come alive. But this isn’t Hollywood or a dream – we live in the real world and must wake up! And though early love is great and can leave us in a spin, it always, always fades, and eases off over time. But the good news is… it then turns to mature love – which is a richer, more stable and secure form of love.

You and your partner must like the same things

Because we’re individuals we all like different things – and there’s nothing wrong with that – we can do them with our friends. If you try to force your partner to like what you enjoy it will only lead to conflict and arguments.

Couples rarely argue in a great relationship

Burying your feelings and hiding what you think could indicate an unhealthy relationship. All healthy couples argue and disagree at times. It means you can be real, and your relationship is strong. However, be careful with what you say – don’t just launch a full attack. You can’t take back your words… what’s been said can’t be unsaid!

My partner must be perfect (or close to perfect)

No one will ever be perfect. Oftentimes we look for perfection in our partners not thinking that we ourselves are not perfect too. We all have imperfections and are difficult at times. So instead of looking for someone to complete you, or seek for Mr./Miss Right, be the right man/woman to that someone you’re presently in relationship with and learn to complement each other’s imperfections. Don’t focus on their flaws or things that irritate you. Instead, remember what you liked, and the fun times you have shared.

There are no rules when it comes to relationships. For me, it’s much better to plan your relationship around your life, not your life around your relationship.

If your partner is abusive, then that changes everything. You need to walk away from that relationship NOW. Finding love is not worth it if you have to lose yourself in the process.

god bless


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